How to Cook a Turkey

Every year Thanksgiving takes me back to the same place…the Internet. I rely on the information super highway to quickly school me in the intricacies preparing and roasting the turkey: How long should you thaw a frozen turkey (one night is NOT enough)? How do you truss it? At what temperature do you cook it? How often should you baste it? What if it starts to brown too quickly? How do you know when it’s done.

Well, this year, I didn’t have to Google the answers, and thanks to the 4-year-old class at Grandma Judi’s preschool, The Children’s Workshop, neither do you.

How to Cook a Turkey
(By the 4-year-old class at Miss Judi’s Children’s Workshop Preschool)

1. Shoot a turkey with a bow and arrow. If you don’t have an arrow, buy a turkey at Shop-Rite.
2. Put your turkey in a seat belt and drive it home.
3. Give the turkey a bath. (No soap.)
4. Dry it with a towel.
5. Put butter on it; put mayonnaise and cheese on it.
6. Heat up the oven really hot. Really really hot. Super hot.
7. Put the turkey in for at least one minute, but maybe 4 or 6 minutes.
8. Don’t forget to stuff it first. You can use pudding, ice cream, strawberries, blueberries and chocolate.
9. Take it out of the oven, cut it up, put it on a plate, say “Enjoy!” and eat it.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!


Disclaimer: Any follower of this recipe (or guest at the table of the recipe follower) holds Melissa , Grandma Judi and the four year old class at the Children’s Workshop Preschool harmless for any damages, including illness or death, that result from following any and all of the above instructions for cooking a turkey.